Coffee with Austin: Discover His Secrets & Most Common Coaching Advice

Transcribed from the episode audio and lightly edited for readability. Speaker labels are automated and may occasionally be off.

Rachel: Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Conscious Christian Marriage podcast. We are your hosts, Rachel and Austin Holt. And today, we have a very special episode I'm calling Coffee with Rachel and Austin. where today I will be interviewing Austin. And the goal of this is for you guys to just get to know Austin a little bit better, feel like you're on a coffee date with him. We call it coffee dates where we go out with people, hang out, reconnect. and so hopefully through these questions, you'll not only get to know him better and feel more connected to him through this episode, but also, I know because of what I, the person I know he is, that the things that he will share will hopefully, inspire you and, give you something to take away and apply to your own life. So.

Austin: I'm excited.

Rachel: First little twist for you. Oh, by the way, he does not know any of these questions. So I'm really excited.

Austin: Do we wanna appreciate each other first?

Rachel: No, you're gonna appreciate yourself. You're going to give a self-appreciation.

Austin: Oh, self-appreciation.

Rachel: This is something we teach our clients to do. We do a lot. Not only do we grow the muscle for appreciating our spouse, but we also You know, you've heard us talk about self-love, love from God, comes from God to us, then we're able to give it to the world. So self-appreciations are really important. So Austin today is going to give himself an appreciation.

Austin: Hmm. Thank you. as you said that, two thoughts immediately entered my mind. Number one was a lyric from one of my favorite Skillet songs. So, Skillet is a Christian rock band. They I, I swear that band, like, just really got me through my, you know, mid to late, you know, teen angst, woe years, you know. But, I think it's the song Open Wounds, but he said, "Something deep inside There's something deep inside that keeps my faith alive." I think one appreciation I have for my myself is that, um And this is also an appreciation for, for God, is just that, since I can remember, I've just had a deep, just inner pilot light of faith. and I, I really thank God for that. Like, even all through elementary school, middle school, high school, you know, I just, I, I've always had this thing very deep inside of me that has said, like, "It's not an option that you're going to be a God-fearing good man.

Like, it is who you are. like, you don't have an option. Like, that's who you are. Like, there's something deep inside keeping your faith alive." And and so I've just felt that since I was a young man, that I would, be a godly man, and that I would serve God in everything that I do, and that that would be my course, and that even if I wanted to stray from the course, like, God would continue to call me back. And, and it kind of feeds into the second thought I have, which is just alignment, which goes right into that, is God has given me this ability to know what my values are and make decisions based on my values. I appreciate that, like, 'cause there's so much noise and there's so many decisions I could make or things I could do or things I could buy or decisions to make, and I have a very conscious thought process that says, "Does this honor my faith in God?

Does this honor my integrity? Does it honor my wife? Does it honor my kids, my health? does it honor our finances? Does it honor our faith community?" And if it honors all those things, then I do it, and if it doesn't, then I typically don't. And so I just appreciate, um And to me, that's one of the most powerful senses of in integrity. So yeah. Those are two things I appreciate about myself.

Rachel: That's great.

Austin: I also think I'm mildly funny. You know? Appreciate that too.

Rachel: I appreciate that you're just still going. It's good.

Austin: Oh, okay. Great.

Rachel: I love it.

Austin: I can keep going if you want.

Rachel: Yeah. That's good. That's a good example. okay, so the first question, you often say, to clients when you're teaching them, or in different coaching scenarios, you say that your greatest weakness is, can be a pivot away from your greatest asset or strength. If I'm quoting that wrong, you have the chance to correct me and say it the way that you so brilliantly say it. So, but my question is, share with us more about this and give a personal example from your life how you've pivoted one of your weaknesses to be your greatest strength and how you y you've used it to impact the world.

Austin: Love it. That's a actually a really great question, and I'd love to spend a whole episode on that. But the context on that basically comes from this idea that generally the thing that most people judge themselves for the, the worst, the harshest, is right next to the best part of who they are, okay? And so because the stuff that's most important to us, like our corest of corest of core, that stuff, because it's so important it's so easy, to be really happy about ourselves for that thing or really hard on ourselves for, about that thing. And so, and a lot of times what we judge ourself for the very most, that we, we call it our weakness is actually because it's always been the most natural gifted thing for us. And when people step into their natural giftings, other people get insecure and then tell them they're doing something wrong. So for example, for me, I've always been outgoing. I've always been extroverted. I've always been a little wild.

I've always been a little goofy. I've always been a little funny. And, so, like, all growing up, you know, people would, you know, thought I was annoying or, you know, that a comment I would get, you know, "Oh, you're being annoying," or, "You're being loud," or, "You're being too much," or- "You're being You know, you need to chill out," or like, "Oh, you're just too wild and goofy and out of control," and all that. And like, "Your energy's too much." Like, I just got a lot of that. And so I remember, it's kind of sad, like, when I was younger, like, every year when the school year would restart, I'd think, "Okay, Austin, this is your chance." "It's your chance to, like, give everyone this different impression of you. Just be calm. Don't be crazy, and everyone will think you're, like, cool." So, like, day one I'd be sitting there in class like, "Yeah, like, cool," you know? And I just couldn't help it. By, like, day two, day three, day four, "I'm goofy.

I'm wild. I'm extroverted." "I'm trying to be the class clown," and all that. And so I think a lot about the Hebrew word ma'od, okay? And ma'od is this It's when, when, scripture talks about heart, mind, soul, strength, actually ma'od is

Rachel: It's part of our logo

Austin: Yeah, yeah, exact exactly part of our logo. Heart, heart, soul, mind, strength. Our strength is our ma'od. It's our muchness. That's literally what the word means. It means your muchness. And so I used to really judge myself for my muchness because it, people made fun of me for it, you know? And I lost friendships over it, or, you know, the girl, the girls I liked didn't like it or, or whatever. But then I realized as I got older and I got out of that, that school environment where, you know, self-judgment, it happens because, you know, your perception of your friend level will dictate your self-judgment, you know? And as I got older, I realized that my ma'ode, my muchness, my big personality, extroverted goofiness, energy, et cetera, for the right people inspires them, to be better. it shows them that they can, they can be true to who they are. and that part of me, helps excavate the best out of other people because, like, I don't feel fear, I'm willing to talk, I'm willing to share, I'm willing to g- I'm willing to dig deep, I'm willing to be wrong, I'm- I'm willing to say the wrong things on accident and reverse to try to get to the right thing.

And so but I used to criticize myself for the pain my personality, my goofiness, all that would get me when I was younger especially. And now as I'm an, as an adult, I'm like, "Hey, if you enjoy being around me, great. Be around me. If you don't, that's okay. There's other guys like me that might have a personality that you like to be around more, so go be around them. Like, that's totally fine." And so I always tell people that, this is another way to look at it, like jealousy and inspiration are, like just a very thin line apart. And so I want people to be I the people that I want to appeal to, I want those people to be inspired by me. If I try to appeal to people that might be jealous of me or insecure about me or that they don't like me, why would I, why would I try to cater anything that I do to them? Because I can't help them anyways because they have their own block between them and me.

And so I used to give myself a really hard time for my big, goofy, risky, you know, funny personality, but now I've realized as I've gotten older that it's the greatest part of who God made me to be. He made me to, to try to draw out in others. And so some people when they get around me, they'll get kinda critical of me and kinda make a, take a little shot at me, and I, I don't even, I don't even respond. I'm like, "I love it," because I'm like, "Okay, good, I'm maybe triggering a little something in them." And I, and I That's fine. And so but then other people that, that get around me, they'll feel lovingly challenged by my, maybe my level of confidence or extroversion or excitement, and then it stirs up something good in them. And so I've realized that's one of my superpowers. But for most people, and I mean 99% of people, the thing that you judge yourself for the very most is coming from the same place in you that's probably the best part about who you are.

You know, maybe you judge yourself for being really critical of others. Well, maybe you're really precise and maybe you're really detail-oriented in a good way. Like, maybe you're really, really good at problem-solving and becoming efficient and increasing efficacy and approach. But maybe your whole life, that part of you was just used in a slightly different way that got you in trouble because people just thought you were critical. You know? And so maybe you've always given yourself a hard time, you know, for that. But maybe that's coming from a place in you that is, like, some of your, your strongest, most God-given talents. So I just encourage people to, you know, take a step back and realize that the part of you that you've probably been the hardest on is coming from a place of actually great strength or great talent or great passion. And if you can modulate that a little bit, you might be able to really use it for the kingdom of God, for your own life, and to help other people and to find more, you know, significance, so.

Rachel: Yeah. I love that. Thank you for sharing that. So on top of what we do together, you know, we do marriage coaching. You have other irons in the fire, which because you're a genius. But you're, you do life and business coaching for people, and you help people make shifts like this, really impactful shifts in their lives. And so I wanna ask you, what are some of the most common and biggest shifts that clients need to make, whether it's in their personal life or in business? 'Cause we know it all kinda meshes together. and what are fr a few practical things that you teach to help them get those shifts? So if you think in overarching, like, all your years of helping people in business and personal life, what are some of the main things that usually pop up with people? because typically, you know, maybe some of our listeners could really benefit from hearing this, because they're so common. So what are some of those common things, and what are some of the shifts that they can make?

Austin: Okay, so, so common shifts that make the biggest impact, and what are some tactical steps to get there?

Rachel: You can just pick one if you want. Depending on

Austin: Well, I have like seven. I'm trying to pick one. number, I think number one would be, identity. Identity is everything. who you believe you are is who you will be. Who you believe you are is who you'll live up to, okay? If you think you're, if you think you're a good dude or a good girl, you'll generally do good things. If you think you're a bad dude or a bad girl, you'll generally do bad things. Because the brain loves continuity. The brain does not, does not want to be out of continuity with itself, okay? If you think you're a good person, you'll generally do good things. And when you do good things, you'll get good results. And when you do good results, you'll have good evidence, and then that evidence backs up the initial belief. Okay? It's kind of a cognitive, a little bit in the cognitive model. And the inverse is if you think you're a bad person, you'll generally do bad things. You'll get bad results, okay?

And then you'll have bad evidence or good evidence that supports the initial belief is that you're not a good person. And so what I like to help people do when I first work with them is help them establish their own sense of identity. Because who you believe you are, again, is who you will live up to. If you believe you're a man of God, you'll live up to it. If you believe you're a woman of God, you'll live up to it. But if you think, "Once I do all these things perfectly and have all these accomplishments and get recognized by my pastor and have a trophy on my desk and a million dollars in the bank and all that," if you think to yourself, "Once I have all that, then I'll think I'm a man of God," you'll never, ever get there. Because if you put actions before identity, then the actions will never be enough to get the identity because there's always gonna be someone better than you.

Okay? So, like, if, if you're a man and you're wanting to think of yourself as, strong- And if you say, "Well, once I can bench press 250 pounds- Mm-hmm then I th- I'll believe I'm a strong man." Right. That's putting identity ahead of actions or behavior. And so then once you finally get to 250, you're gonna realize there's other dudes in the gym benching 300, 350, 400, 500, like I do. Mm-hmm. Just kidding. and so then you're gonna be like, "Well, man, you know, now that I'm here, I see this guy over here benching 350. He's a strong man, so I got another 100 pounds to go before I can give myself the title strong man." And if you do that, you will be depressed. The journey to change will be miserable- Mm-hmm when you try to earn the title versus live up to the title. Same thing, like if you wanna be a doctor, and if you say, "I'm, I'm not going to be a doctor, a healer, I'm not going to help people feel better until I go to medic medical school, complete residency, pass all my boards, and get hired on as a doctor.

Only then will I ever be a doctor." And I'm speaking in the more n not I'm speaking in the more sense of like the heart behind being a doctor, not the- Mm-hmm MD legal doctor. I'm not talking about that. Yeah. Like, let's just use the word healer. If you say, "Once I go do all that, then I get to be a healer," it's a, it's a, it's a long, miserable path. But if you say, "Because I am a healer, I'm gonna go to medical school." Mm-hmm. "Because I am a healer, I'm going to become a doctor and help people," then the journey goes a lot faster. it kinda goes back to if anyone remembers the book, or the movie, Pat is it Patch Adams? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Patch Adams. Yeah. It's the same thing, you know? I love that word. He, he talks about that, you know, when he's- Yeah kinda defending himself is, you know, he says, he's like, "If, if being a good friend and providing some laughs and applying a cool cloth and, you know, or a cool, you know, drink when someone's not feeling well is being a doctor, then I'm guilty," you know?

But because he was a, his identity was a healer. Mm-hmm. And so he started with an identity as a healer, and then his actions followed that. Mm-hmm. And so once you know your identity, then you can know your values, okay? And so 'cause all this is, all this is, gonna come into the idea of integrity, 'kay? Alignment really. Mm-hmm. So if you know that you're a man of God or a woman of God, well, then you can figure out what your values are. Okay, like I'm a man of God, so I therefore value what a man of God values, which I find in the Christian Bible. So then once I know my identity and I know my values, well, then I start to match my behavior to my values. Now I have alignment. Mm-hmm. And when you have alignment, you will feel at peace, you'll feel at purpose, and you will feel significant. One of the f one of the quickest shifts I can help people make in realizing maybe why they're depressed, they're not happy, they don't feel any significance, they don't feel any happiness, is because they're out of alignment.

They don't even know what their values are. Mm-hmm. You they don't even know what their scorecard is for why they could be happy in this life. Okay, but if I know I'm a man of God, so I know what my values are, and then if my behavior matches my values, then I'm being obedient to God. And if I'm being obedient to God, I will feel purposeful because our purpose is told to us in Isaiah, okay, that our purpose is to serve God. I'll know that I'm in my purpose. If I'm acting in a way that honors my values, I'm winning, okay? Mm-hmm. People don't wanna talk about winning and losing and all that, but let me tell you this. The quickest way to win in life is say, "Here's my identity. Therefore, here are my values. Therefore, here's my behavior." So when my behavior matches my values, I'm winning. Mm-hmm. Okay? And so once you know your i identity, you can understand your values. And sometimes once you look at all your values, it helps you make up your identity.

It's kind of, kind of one and the same. Then my behavior begins to match my values, and now I'm winning. Now I feel significant because I said I'm a man of God. I acted like a man of God. When I drifted away from that, I knew when I was drifting because I know my scorecard. It's my values. Mm-hmm. So then I can shift back to my values with my behavior. Now I'm back in alignment. Now I'm back in flow. Okay, I'm being obedient. I'm being purposeful. I'm being significant because my behavior matches my identity. So if I'm gonna R really helps when we make a big shift. It's let's figure out who you even are. 'Cause if you don't know who you are, you don't even know the scorecard. Mm-hmm. Okay? Like, if I don't know who I am, I didn't win any hockey games last week. To some people, that might be a failure. I'm not a hockey player. I don't care about hockey games.

I don't care about winning any type of, of, of, of hockey game. Right. That's not on my scorecard. Here's what's on my scorecard. Was I in the word? Was I praying? Was I serving my church? Was I serving my wife? Was I serving my kid? Was I serving the ki kids? Was I serving the kingdom of God? Was I taking care of my body, my mind, my soul? And the answer is yes, so I know my scorecard. I know when I'm winning. Mm-hmm. Okay? because I know my identity. So that's, that's one of the first shifts we help people make, identity, values, matching behavior to those values, and all of a sudden you're gonna feel like you're winning. You're gonna feel like you're purposeful. You have personal significance, and you're gonna be happier, okay? It feels good to win, and especially as believers, we can win more easily than we think. And, and, and I'm quoting our pastor here, Scott Obrymski, in one of the first sermons I ever heard him say.

He, he's like, "I'm gonna d- I, I, I'd like to define success." And me being a business guy and a coach for a long time- Mm-hmm success always comes up. Yeah. Well, he just said, "It's simple. It's just pure obedience to God," and I've never forgot that. And I'm like, "Yeah, that feels good," 'cause if I'm being obedient to God, I'm in the most successful heart posture I could ever be in- Mm-hmm just by being obedient. So that's a big shift. and the second shift which directly involves with that would just be understanding what integrity means. Integrity is not positive moral character, okay? It's not positive ethical practice. Integrity is that my behavior matches- Mm-hmm what I say about myself, and what I say matches my experience. Mm-hmm. Okay? So a thief is in integrity if he's stealing. He's out of integrity if he's not. Okay, a lot of people think, "Oh, that person has great integrity. They do the right thing when no one's watching."

That's just positive moral character, okay? And moral is what any group of reasonable people would believe is reasonably right for all people. Mm-hmm. That's really morality. Ethics is more about fairness, right? But s but for someone to say, "Oh, that, that guy's got great integrity. He does the right thing when no one's watching," well, that just means that he, he probably has generally a good moral character. Mm-hmm. Integrity to me means that a man or woman is acting by the values they say they believe. If I say that eating healthy is wise, and I eat healthy, I'm in integrity, okay? If I also tell the truth about my experience, I'm in integrity, okay? Mm-hmm. So if I say, you know, if I, if, if I were to say, "You know, Rachel, I did not enjoy our date night last night." Let's just pretend- Right that we didn't have a great date night. Duh. Me saying the truth about my experience, that's integrity. It's being able to say, "I love you enough to be honest with you."

Mm-hmm. "I will not lie. and I will not pander you, because that's a dishonor," you know? And so that's the next big one is helping people understand what integrity actually means and realizing that most of the drama in their life is because they're in an integrity breach. Mm-hmm. Okay? Most people are miserable because they're actually breaking their integrity at all times. Give an example. Great example would be let's just say that you hate your job. Yeah. Okay? And so you do all these things to keep your job because you're scarcity-minded and you need money. Mm-hmm. And but all day, the people you work with, what you're doing, the conditions you're working in, you're miserable, okay? And if you're pur if you're doing something over and over all day every day that's harming yourself, you're out of integrity. Yeah. Okay? If you, if you are in business with people that are doing unethical things, that's an integrity breach, okay? if you say you value your family, but you're trading monetary success for them, you're out of integrity.

Mm-hmm. If you say you value your kids, but you're trading monetary success and assets and all these things, you're out of integrity. Mm-hmm. Okay, if you say you value your health, but you're going to a job all day where you cannot be healthy, you have to sit all day long, you can't find or eat quality food, which is kind of an excuse 'cause you could always bring your lunch. Mm-hmm. But let's just say you work somewhere that you can't bring your lunch, and they make you eat pretzels and cheese all day. That would be being out of integrity, okay? And so integrity breaches is where we find most of our drama, and integrity breach is lying. Mm-hmm. Okay? So a lot of times I say to people, "Where are you out of integrity?" Let's think about that for a minute. Yeah. Like, if someone's stressed or someone's upset, I, I, I always say, "Where are you out of integrity?" Mm-hmm. Okay? Where are you feeling high resistance to your integrity right now?

"Oh, well, yeah, you know, I, well, I always said I'd never get into the industry of blank, but here I am." You know? Or I feel I mean, there's so many professions where it's easy to blur the lines on your integrity, you know? "Well, well, but it's for the sake of the job. Oh, it's so I can provi provide for my family. Oh, well " it happens all the time, you know? Mm-hmm. And so first thing we look at big time is identity, values, all that. Second thing we look at is in is integrity, you know? when you're in integrity, you're in alignment, and that's when you have clarity, and that's when you can get up the mountain really fast. Mm-hmm. Your integrity, the, th that's the guardrails, you know, that holds you, to the road so that you can go up the road to whatever you want to get to more quickly. Yeah. I'd say a third shift is, understanding yourself and what you're naturally good at and not good at.

Mm-hmm. You know, a lot of times in life, and only generally, this is a judgment a little bit, but people that are insecure tell other people this. They'll say, "Well, you need to start with the things you're bad at and get good at them." Okay? That's not a great idea. Now, for some reason, you wanna take what you're really bad at and get good at it because it's some type of life passion desire, okay, fine. But if you're already 90% good at something- Mm-hmm focus on getting even better at that thing. 'Cause more than likely, you're gonna be deeply happy at it because you're gonna win at it. Mm-hmm. Number two, you might be richly compensated for it because you're better than most people at it. And three, you're just gonna enjoy yourself more because you're gonna have less resistance. Mm-hmm. So a lot of times when we're helping people make shifts in their personal life, their business life, all those things, we want people to know themselves.

If you're a gre if you're naturally a great public speaker, become an excellent public speaker, you know? If you are petrified to ever speak in front of someone, well, let's find a deep way for you to feel fulfillment not public speaking. Because maybe you're great at something else. You know? And so I Because if you're winning, you get dopamine. Mm-hmm. Okay? And if the dopamine cycle is moving in your brain- Yeah which the dopamine cycle's pretty simple, it just works like this. I say I'm gonna do something. I do it. I then feel good about it intrinsically, which means, "Hey, good job, Austin. You succeeded." Then that gives me this little reward, okay? And then I have the confidence to do something more significant- Mm-hmm because I won the last time I tried. Mm-hmm. So now I'm gonna try again on a bigger scale, and I'm gonna win bigger. Mm-hmm. When you say to yourself, "I'm on a roll," it's because- Uh-huh i it's, you're on a roll because your dopamine cycle is growing and expanding and growing and expanding- Mm-hmm and growing and expanding.

And so if you want to get a lot of momentum in life and get really excited about things and win really fast and help a lot of people- Yeah start with what you're really, really good at and win at it. Because when you win, you'll win bigger and bigger and bigger- Mm-hmm and bigger and bigger. There's nothing more frustrating. It's like the I'm a really great snow skier, and I And it's ironic 'cause I'm a really good skateboarder, but I'm a really good snow skier. The first time I tried snowboarding, I fell, and I thought I broke my wrist within five feet. Oh. And I was like, "I'm a bad snowboarder." I've never tried again because I don't care. I don't have dreams to become a great snowboarder. So I'll get on skis and just go tear it up on the skis. And I have more fun because I'm winning. I'm getting dopamine. Mm-hmm. And if you can get into a dopamine groove, as I call it, or if you can get on a roll with your dopamine- Yeah you'll climb mountains fast.

Rachel: Love it. Yeah. Love that. So the next question is kinda just honing this in a little bit deeper, specifically to men. So you coach a lot of men. you know, every Monday you're doing husbands coaching calls, with everyone in our CCM membership program. You have coached men for over a decade. What is, basically, what is a shift that every man can make? So I know you just said these general shifts in life in general, but something that men typically struggle with that you specifically help them grow through. share a little bit about that and how you help them grow.

Austin: I would say if I were talking to the, the general man, I would say the number one shift he can make, other than doubling down on his faith in every aspect. I mean- I, I want that to kinda be like a baseline. I hope everyone listening to this today knows that my, part of my baseline answer is be a really reverent man of God. You know, be in the word, be praying be relying on God, be asking for the miraculous from God. You know, become a student of Christianity. second to that is to be, impeccable with your word. That'd be my, my big answer, which means, it's, it's realizing that how you do everything is how you do everything. And how you do one thing is how you do everything. And so if you're willing to lie on a microscopic level about anything, or if you're willing to break a commitment, small, medium, big, you'll be willing to do it everywhere. It's just a, it's just an eventuality to when it's something that really matters. and so to be, to have impeccable integrity and to be impeccable with your word means that I'm gonna tell the truth no matter what.

I'm gonna honor my word no matter what. Because if you cannot be trusted, you really can't, be utilized for anything. and you will not get the connections you seek with those you love. if you can't trust me then you can't take anything I say seriously, you know?

Rachel: Yeah. I was gonna sp say specifically for wives to be able to trust their husbands is huge.

Austin: If, if my kids can't trust me, why would I ever think I could influence them for the rest of their life as children? If my clients can't trust me, why would they continue to, to pay me to help their lives become better and better, you know? And so if you're willing to micro lie, micro cheat, micro steal, you'll do it in medium ways, and then after medium ways, you'll do it in big ways. And eventually you'll be poised or positioned with an opportunity to have a serious moral failure, and you might give in and commit it. because most men underestimate what it's like to break their word on small levels in small ways, and how that can turn into, bigger ordeals. It'd be better if you told the truth about who you are and what you actually really think, really believe, and want to ascribe to, and act in that, than it would be to lie and then to repeatedly let people down by breaking your word.

Men should be rock solid, no questions asked. For people to be able to depend on their word, depend on them as men. If I commit to do something, I'm gonna do it. And if for some reason I can't do it, I'm gonna com structure a new commitment, okay? To be impeccable with their agreements, their commitments, their honor, their word. that's really the foundation that men have to have to build on. Because if you know that you are lying to other people, then you can't trust yourself, and a lot of men can't trust themselves, so then they actually never try. And you can't change until you trust yourself to follow through. And then those around you, they won't depend on you, they won't let you lead, they won't want you to manage, they won't want your influence if they're like, "Well, that guy can't even lead himself. That guy, that guy can't take his own word seriously. Why would we take his word seriously for anything?"

You know? So that's one shift that I work with a lot of men on, is how to become impeccable with their word. Okay, if we meet every Friday for a coaching meeting, and I say, "By next Friday, I'd like you to do blank. Are you gonna commit to that?" And they say, "Yes," then by next Fri by next Friday, with the men I work with, it will be done. And if not, we're gonna figure out why. Because I, I want them, as I do myself, to be impeccable with my word.

Rachel: Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's good. Thank you for sharing. So now I'm gonna turn it more towards you specifically and ask you for a final question.

Austin: Ooh.

Rachel: When you leave this world what are the most important things you want to be remembered for?

Austin: Mm. That's a big one. Well, I have to quote Mark Batterson a little bit here. you know, I, I think it was Mark that said this, but something to the effect of, you know, two big things. One, I want the people that knew me the best to love me the most. 'Cause there's a lot of people that don't know me that probably won't love me. They'll listen to what I say or, you know, and just make a judgment about me, and that's fine. I want the people that know me really, really well to love me. That's what I want. Then, then I'll know on some sense that, I had impact on people. Like, I h actually had impact on the world. That's one thing. Number two is I, I just wanna hear God say the words to me, like, "Well done, good and faithful son," you know? I guess that's more between me and God that no one here in the world would know. That's between, like, He and I in heaven or something.

But, I just wanna know that, like, God was pleased because He did so much for me. You know, I just wanna know that I was able to, um And I know that I am. I know that I am pl- I, I know that my life does please God. I just wanna hear Him say it. You know? and another element would be I want to be known as a good steward. That's always been important to me. It's always been a piece of my identity is a good steward, is that I was faithful with what God gave me while I was here. So, like, let's just say that, you know, people are at my funeral, which is not gonna be a traditional funeral. It's gonna be more like a

Rachel: Party

Austin: More like a party, yeah. And, I want people- To be able to get up there and faithfully say, like, "Man, God entrusted him with so much, and he stewarded it well." He helped people, he loved people, he gave to people. he impacted people with his time, with his heart, with his finances, with his, with the wisdom God gave him. that's what I wanna be remembered for. you know, I want my kids to remember that, you know, my dad was loving, he was kind, he was a protector, he was courageous. he wasn't afraid to run towards problems. you know, I want you to obviously feel the same way, you know? And I You know, by the grace of God, we've experienced a lot of cool things in our marriage. You know, things like nice houses and cars, and we've owned a lot of businesses that have made a lot of money and stuff like that, and that's all been cool. Don't get me wrong. And God's been able to use that to help people in a different way, which is really cool. but that's not really what I wanna be remembered by, you know?

I mean, that's a, that's a facet of it. I a am really inspired by the guy that, created The Gathering Place in Oklahoma. So if anyone doesn't know what that is, check out The Gathering Place. Is it in Okl- Oklahoma City or Tulsa?

Rachel: Tulsa, I think.

Austin: I think it's Tulsa. my sister Jenna, my older sister Jenna, and her husband Trevor and their kids, they live, they live in Oklahoma. And, they told us about this place called The Gathering Place, and it's this, this, guy that, real successful businessman, and, he created this basically It's almost like a Disneyland out there, but it's free, and it's truly incredible. And, he left enough money in an estate to basically run this organization for, like, 100 or 200 years. It's a really, really cool story. And so, I love legacy. I, I would love the idea that after I pass away, good things in the world would still be happening. Whether that's just through you or through our kids or through our, our estate or our businesses or whatever. But, I just, I just want ultimately to be a lighthouse for God. I just want people to look at the way I live my life, and if they're not living for God yet, I'd want them to look at my life and second-guess the way they're living theirs.

I'd want them to look at my life and be like, "Huh, you know, Austin does things this way, and he's really happy. He's really purposeful. He's unshakable in his integrity. He's unoffendable. He loves people with a huge heart. He, he gives things away with an open hand, and I wonder why he's like that." "Like, I wonder what makes him tick." "Why is he like that? Why is he so happy? Why is he so goofy? Why is he so excited about everything?" "You know, why does he have a thousand hobbies so he can have a thousand friends and do fun stuff?" Like, "Why, why does he, why is he like that?" And I, I want them to then get curious and then figure out that it's because the Holy Spirit lives inside me. You know, I want people to look at m- Because business is not difficult. Making money's not difficult. Having a nice car or a nice house or having things, none of that's that difficult.

You know, it's, it's what good is it if a man gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? It's, it's how to create a successful, purposeful life while not selling who you are to anything or to anyone, you know? It's how do you create a happy, successful, purposeful life while giving God the glory and not sacrificing your marriage, your kids, your health, your integrity to create that? And I want people to look at my life and be like, "He does things differently, and he's getting a different outcome. I want that outcome." And then I want them to see Jesus. I want them to be like, "Oh, that dude's a Christian." Like, "Oh, he's powered by God," you know? Like and it's, it's not that he's some genius, 'cause I, I don't think I'm some genius, you know? I just believe that I serve a really faithful God, and he has plans for me, and I'm just trying to do my best to live into those, those plans.

So I know it's a lot, but yet at the end of my life, I, I want those who knew me the best to love me the most. I want God to be proud of me. I want to n be known as a good steward, someone who loved people without fear, someone who was willing to have hard conversations, do, face hard things, face trials, go through people's deepest, most gut-wrenching pain with love, without judgment, to help walk people through Some people are in hell on Earth. And, I always wanna be strong enough and brave enough to help people become healed in this life so that they can be effective for ministry now to recruit as many people as possible to be in the kingdom of heaven.

Rachel: Mm-hmm. That's very well said. Without further ado, I it's just there's no good way to even transition that- 'cause it was so deep and so good. So thank you. I really appreciate you sharing your heart and sharing, yeah, just sharing who you are with the world, and I'm super proud to be here interviewing you. So thank you. All right. So I know I said that it was our final question, but I'm gonna sneak another one in there. What do you like to do for fun? Just so people can

Austin: Ooh

Rachel: Kinda get to know you.

Austin: How much time do we have?

Rachel: Like, just, just, like, two minutes.

Austin: Like, two minutes? Oh, shoot. Okay. man.

Rachel: 30 seconds. Go.

Austin: I, I'm a hobby guy. I love 3D printing. I love lasering. my favorite hobby is tactical work, so, shooting, CQB, CQC, breach training with guys. That's kinda my, my favorite thing. night vision, out combing the fields at night. You know, roaming the river in full gear. I love playing guitar. I love, I, I, I play guitar, bass, drums, piano, mandolin. love serving at church. I love cars. I love fast cars specifically. Love fast Chevys specifically. for all you Ford guys out there, love ya. my brother-in-law, Austin, he's a Ford guy, and I love him. But, Yeah. love tinkering, love hobbies, love shooting, love archery, love fishing. Was fishing yesterday. Caught a nice, juicy three-pound bass to kick off the, the season. I love cooking. I love cooking steak.

Rachel: You're good at it.

Austin: Yes. Thank you. I love cooking steak. I love making coffee. I like nerding out on health stuff. I love being on our farm, playing with our animals, playing with our kids, obviously being with you. Again, we serve a lot at church. we get to lead some pretty cool teams at church. I love marriage work. I love helping all, all, all of entrepreneurship, all the businesses we're involved with. I love My name comes from- Aug, from Augus from Augustine. Augustine to Augustus to Austin. And, Augustine literally means to add to or increase in the lives of others in Latin, and that's what I love doing. I love adding to or increasing in the lives of other people. It fuels me. It excites me. It's a lot of fun. But I'm a lover of life. I love doing things. I love hobbies. I love having fun, and I love figuring things out really quickly. like when I learned how to forge metal, and I, I made a ring.

It's not on me, but, I love, like, "I'm gonna learn how to forge metal." And people are like, "Well, you gotta go study with a blacksmith for, like, a year." And I'm like, "No, I'll figure it out." So then I get on YouTube. Then I buy all the stuff, and then, like, two days later- I'm forging rings in the garage.

Rachel: You, like, made a replica of your wedding ring.

Austin: I, I think some of the times when I'm having fun that I feel the most alive or the most in my essence is when I hack something. You know, like when I learn to make knives or I learn to forge metal. You know, or th- 3D printing, you know? Like- So, but yeah, I love having fun.

Rachel: Awesome. Thank you for sharing that with us, and thank you so much for being here on my podcast.

Austin: Thank you for having me. I'll send you a bill.

Rachel: Yeah, perfect. Sounds good. but that leads us to our nonprofit shout-out for the day. This is a couple who does missions work, Jeff and Esther McLaren. They are incredible people.

Austin: Whoo.

Rachel: They are from our church, but they are currently, doing missions work in the world in S- South America. And, we would love for you to go and

Austin: Yes, please

Rachel: Donate to godsaidgo.org. Again, that's God Said Go 'cause they responded to God's calling. I'm s- I'm, like, impressed with them that they got that URL. It's awesome.

Austin: Yeah, that's an incredible URL.

Rachel: Yeah, so, a and a anytime you're like, "Where should I donate? I'm feeling generous," God Said Go.

Austin: Yeah, God Said Go. Donate.

Rachel: So go donate if this episode, brought you any value, if you appreciate it. We want you to spread the love with Jeff and Esther McLaren and the incredible lives that they are impacting down there. So would you like to close us out since this is your interview?

Austin: All right. Well, everyone, thank you for, watching and listening to this episode. Thank you, Rachel, for I didn't even know we were gonna do this, so that was fun. thanks for hearing my heart, hopefully learning a little bit about me. and, if you would, please like, comment, subscribe, or whatever it is on whatever platform you're listening or watching. And,

Rachel: Leave us a rating.

Austin: Yeah, and if, if you're a, a man specifically out there that, you'd like to connect with me, maybe I can help you move the needle in your life in any way, shape, or form. I would love to connect with you. You can go to our website at consciouschristianmarriage.com. Fill out the contact form. I'll be in touch with you. I respond to all those messages personally myself. and I would love to connect with you. But thanks for watching this episode. we love you. We appreciate you. We pray for you, and we'll see you on the next one.